Love Letters the Universe 06
Wow, how quickly time flies. I’ve been MIA from my blog for way too long. Every week since my last post, I’ve been longing to get back to writing. Sad to say but like most of us, I left that item on my to-do list as last. I let “priorities” like work get in the way. Reality check: work is work. It’s not my passion and doesn’t fill my cup in the same way that it use to. AKA doesn’t validate my self-worth. I’m not jaded but a realist, in case you are wondering. I find that my perspective about my “day job” has changed. It’s more of a relationship that funds my true passions and desires. It does not define me or my creativity, my soul or anything else that fills the blank of who I am. As you can probably see, in the past year since I’ve last written I have taken time to revamp and rebrand. More to come on that later but it is important to note in case you see the shiny newness of the site. (Shout to Hil + Kayla for making that happen.)
So what has occurred in the last year? Lots of things but the most important to note: healing. It’s been a rollercoaster ride of personal growth, thanks to a few rock bottoms. Each of them delivering a gift that is hard to explain unless you too have been through muck and hell of life asking you to level up. My saving grace through all of it: I finally gave in to the idea of attending an Al-Anon meeting. Happy to say, I’m 7 months in and took on a service position as the literature person. What does that mean? I provide welcome packets for newcomers and sell books. The kid in me loves this because it’s a nod to the glory days of Scholastic book clubs + fairs. It’s been a true gift that has slowly and organically unfolded. A weekly reminder of not pushing a healing process to gain immediate gratification.
Also during my blog break, I traveled non-stop. Most of which has not made an appearance on instagram. (I’ve been honoring the right to keep some things private until I am ready to share). So where did I venture off to in the last year? Deep breathe. Let’s go: Joshua Tree, Kauai, Marfa, Iceland, New Orleans, Oregon, Portland, the Mojave Desert and my hometown, Tucson, Arizona. Just writing out that list, I feel exhausted. Listen, traveling is amazing but you know what is also amazing? Staying home and diving in deep to really know yourself. Soul work is hard work. It’s not a quote you see on Instagram and it shouldn’t get confused with fields of poppies with naked people running around (IE: curated Instagram feeds of “blissed out” people) The TRUTH? My traveling became escapism for me. I was 100% avoiding my shadow self in the excuse of adventure. Once I started Al-Anon I quickly realized I had traded my bad habits of “checking out” (aka partying) with travel excursions. Not only was that new form of escapism expensive as hell but also cost me TIME. Precious time that could have involved a deeper dive into some parts of me I had been avoiding.
Important sidenote: I haven’t shared this before and I’m not sure why I’m sharing it now because realistically it’s no one’s business but my own. But hopefully, this can maybe help someone else who relates. Over a few years ago, I hung up my copper mugs and shot glasses for a sober curious lifestyle. This choice was made due to 2 factors and not because it was “trending” (which heck yeah for sobriety being a trend. People need to wake the F-UP):
The 2016 election: I realized I needed to get clarity asap to make sense of what was to come and also show up in life as an advocate for the things I believe in vs just being another person with blinders on. My passion for this planet spurred me to take a look at where I was spending my money and how I could actively participate in a better relationship with Gaia. Again, more to come on that later. :P
Transcendental Meditation: Yes, David Lynch is correct that TM is f-ing fabulous. I used to describe it as a bath for your brain. Ha. Since my TM intro, I’ve consistently been meditating for over 4 years. I can dive in deeper to that experience another time but it’s worth checking out if you are interested in meditation.
Now that you have the 411 on the last year, moving forward, I’ll be getting back to my Love Letters to the Universe posts and sharing this crazy life of mine. While this series is more intended for me to see my personal growth over time, I hope it inspires you to get off the phone and back into the present moment of your life. You came here for a reason and I highly doubt that reason is to have FOMO, scrolling through life or checking out to numb yourself due to what ails you. The present moment is the daily gift we can give ourselves.